Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
