belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
