piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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