I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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