I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize