I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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