I wish you could order shots online.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
