Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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