Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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