In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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