I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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