dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
