Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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