everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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