the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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