The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
