can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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