He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
