When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
