he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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