I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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