I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
