when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
