I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
