Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
