Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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