i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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