I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We had sex on a dog bed..
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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