She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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