She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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