dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
