i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
