there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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