You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
