shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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