party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
