You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize