you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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