I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
its liver damage thursday
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
