So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
