does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
As shirtless as possible
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
