Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize