Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize