I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
