he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
