Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the day after is always just damage control
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
why do cheetos always look like penises
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
