Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
