if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Let's get the cat blown out
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
