I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
