did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just google imaged poop.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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