That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This baby is an asshole
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
