Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
