she was so not down for the gang bang
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
