ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize