Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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