I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Farmville is her only friend.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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