She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
