Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
