hotel room ftw
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize