I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
