i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
