didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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