hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
