We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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