also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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