Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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