I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
