dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Less talking, more tequila
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
