Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize