The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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