Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
