'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
