my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just had sex on a roof
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
